


ghost of you

by wolfsbanex



Category: NCT
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Depression, Hurt, Inspired by Real Events, M/M, Sad, Suicidal Thoughts, broken relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-24
Updated: 2020-02-24
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:48:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22871260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolfsbanex/pseuds/wolfsbanex
Summary: how do you go on when your heart has been broken into pieces?, Donghyuck stands on the edge of the roof, his eyes wandering over the glimmering lights of the city. Mark, Mark why aren't you here?
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Comments: 4
Kudos: 24





	ghost of you

**Author's Note:**

> !! ENGLISH ISN'T MY FIRST LANGUAGE!!  
> \- i'm always thankful for kudos and comments :)

**DISCLAIMER** : this fanfic is heavily based on my own break up. Mark has the entire personality of my ex girlfriend, and i also included things they told me when they dumped me and how i felt and what i thought after, so if you comment be kind or just... don't say anything. 

"I just don't have the time for this anymore.." there was an ocean in Donghyucks ears. Mark, the person he loved most in this world was standing in front of him, his eyes emotionless.

"You're just too broken." the merciless words spilled from his lips like a waterfall. Donghyuck stood there, dumbfounded, feeling like an abandoned dog on the side of the road. Everything was too much for him to understand. Why? why so suddenly did Mark decide to leave him?

He thought back to when he first met the older boy. He was charming, caring, selfless when it came to dealing with his depression. Through the 8 months of their relationship all of these personality traits Donghyuck loved most about him vanished, like stars in the morning. 

Donghyuck never lost hope that things could go back to normal. Mark on the other hand didn't even seem to put any effort into keeping the relationship going. He ignored Donghyuck, never talked things out with him when they argued. Mark became as cold as stone, a solid wall. Donghyuck could scream and yell at him however he wanted, in the end Mark put all the blame on him anyway.

He felt so lost. Change had settled in at one point. But not the good kind. Mark suddenly seemed to not like his personality anymore, so Hyuck changed to be the person the older desired, desperate for his boyfriends affection and attention, even respect. The respect that Mark lost halfway through the relationship, seemingly taking Donghyuck for granted.

And now Donghyuck had run into an emptiness more final than any words of rejection. Mark was gone and would make himself a stranger to Hyuck for ever.

They ended the way all good things in Donghyucks life had a way of being put to rest – abrupt and without his permission.

Mark was gone. Mark didn't want him anymore. Once again, he was proven that no matter what, he would never be good enough for anyone, he wasn't worth being loved. The realization settled deeply into his heart, tearing it up like a hungry lion its prey. 

The next days went by like he was dreaming. Between the crying, his aggressive shouting at anyone who tried to comfort him and the depressive thoughts nagging at his mind, Donghyuck was able to delete Marks pictures, phone number and texts. His finger was hovering over the "block" button of Marks Instagram. He clicked it. 

A particular bad night had chased Donghyuck up on the roof. How do you go on when your heart has been broken into pieces?, Donghyuck stands on the edge of the roof, his eyes wandering over the glimmering lights of the city. Mark, Mark why aren't you here? 

Donghyuck missed that feeling of connection. Knowing Mark was out there somewhere, maybe thinking about him at the same time Donghyuck was thinking about him.

"You wouldn't care if i died right?", whispered the broken boy into the cold air. Donghyuck knew how Mark was. By now he had probably already forgotten about his existence, was out with friends, smiling, happy, living his life. Like it had meant nothing. Like Donghyuck never meant anything. "He never loved me." says Donghyuck, looking at the moon with sad and tired eyes. And he knew it was the truth. And it ripped him apart. 

Donghyuck sank to his knees, an animalistic scream ripping through the silence. It was him. He was screaming. He was screaming Marks name, followed with: i hate you's, fuck you's, i deserve better's. 

And Hyuck knew that he deserved better. 8 months he had fought and lost himself for a person that made empty promises and selfish choices, and he deserved better than that. 

With his heart still hurting and rivers running from his eyes, he stood up, balancing on the edge of the roof, eyes drawn to the ground where a couple was just kissing. Maybe the guy just told her he loves her, and promised he would never leave. Lies. All lies. Donghyuck knew those were lies, since he had heard them himself all the time, only to be left behind when things got hard. Because he wasn't worth fighting for, trying to fix the broken pieces. 

Hyuck felt numb. 

The last time he felt alive – he was looking into Marks eyes. Breathing his air…. touching his skin. Saying goodbye. 

The last time he felt alive…. he was dying.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reaching.


End file.
